3 posts tagged “family problems”

The Parable of the Lost Son

 ¹¹Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. ¹²The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.

 ¹³"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. ¹⁴After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

 ¹⁷"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' ²⁰So he got up and went to his father.
      "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

 ²¹"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.^[a]'

 ²²"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.

 ²⁵"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ²⁷'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'

 ²⁸"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. ²⁹But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. ³⁰But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'

 ³¹" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. ³²But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

My sister is not yet found as the youngest son is at the end of this passage. She is still out squandering property with prostitutes, as the passage refers. I relate very much so with the oldest here - go figure, I am the oldest child, duh - but I still find it unfair that the "fattened calf" was not slaughtered for the merriment of the oldest.

I guess in the case that the youngest came back home and was "lost and is found" in the end, yes, there's reason for celebration; if my sister turned to God and completely turned a new leaf, I would understand. It would be deserved. But she has not yet done so, and still I sit here in the shadow of that Princess; I respect my parents, I do whatever I can to please them, and I still feel like #2.

Lately the problems between my parents, my sister and myself have greatly upset me. BADLY. I don't have a regular eating schedule or a proper diet, I don't ever sleep anymore. I almost never work, which is also cause for my distress (I'm always more happy when I feel productive and can take care of myself), but my main stressing factors lie in my home... my resentment toward my spoiled sister, that treats everyone as if she is royalty and the world is her servant; my upset with my parents at their inability to do anything about it, let alone give me a larger room that I deserve to have and would take better care of...

My sister plans to breed her dog. She has no means of taking care of a pregnant dog, let alone the knowledge, financial ability, or responsibility to do so. This will HURT THE DOG if she breeds her, because she will be neglected and hurting. She might even die if she gives birth. Finally we have an appointment to get the dog fixed and get her the rabies shot she's never had. She's never even been to a vet for shots, because my sister has not allowed my parents to do so, nor has she done it herself. I called the vet to ask about "what IF the dog is bred? will it harm her to still get her fixed?" and the vet was very positive and helpful. The dog will not be harmed AT ALL if she's fixed and has been bred, it would just cost a bit more to do the procedure.

That's a relief. I'm really happy to know that. There would be no homes for these puppies, and my sister thinks it will get her money to have puppies. Are you kidding me? They won't even be two steps away from purebred dogs, and mutt-puppies will NOT bring in money!!!

Oh well. I am happy that at least THAT problem is being resolved. It won't even be extremely expensive to do so.. I'm so happy about that. The dog will be safer this way, and maybe my sister will be so angry she won't come home anymore.

Last night my mom told me that my sister is planning on moving back home, again; I spent the rest of the night crying in my room. I am still under stress when she's not here, but for her to come back? And have to deal with that wretched girl daily again? The way she treats me, my parents; the way she disrespects the house and everything in it...... I am so sick of dealing with it. If I had a way out of this house, I'd take it; but I don't. I have no money - I work two days a week now - and I have no one to stay with. No where to go. Nothing.

Sigh. My mom SAYS she's going to just tell my dad that I'm moving back into that room. I asked her what she'd do if I just moved back in myself without saying anything to my dad; we agreed he'd probably want to kick me out because he'd be so angry that I did such a thing without his permission. I agree. It's disrespectful, but I see no other way. So she said instead of ruffling already aroused feathers, she'd just tell him it was happening. No discussion, no more delays; I deserve, and she'll give the reasons why.

I hope it works. I hope she means it this time. I am so unhealthy living in this tiny room; it is so small that I'm claustrophobic in it, and it never gets clean because I have too much stuff (that I use daily, mind you; I have already moved everything unnecessary out of this room and into storage). I can't live like this. I'm a neat freak and this is driving my OCD wild.

Well this entry is long enough. Bleh.

I really hate living here.

I really hate living with my family.

I really hate my sister. No, I'm not joking or exaggerating.

She is threatening to have her friends beat my ass. Why? Because I told her she was rude and horrible for coming home and disrespecting me in front of them - people I don't know - and she disrespects everyone in this house.

So she tells me to die a "painfull lonley death" and threatens to have her friends kick my ass for calling her immature when she sent that.

What do my parents do?

Nothing.

What does my dad say?

That he doesn't know both sides of the story yet.

WHAT OTHER SIDE IS THERE? This girl steals from you, lies, breaks any and all rules you provide for her because she doesn't give a crap who she hurts or who gets upset as long as it's all done her way and she gets what she wants. And you want her side???????? Are you KIDDING me?

Not to mention... THE WHOLE DAMN THING IS IN MY CELL PHONE VIA TEXT MESSAGES!! All of it!! Including what I sent her! Read it ALL, it'll be exactly like I friggin' told you it was!

WHY would I lie about this?
WHY would he doubt me?
WHY does he need to hear her side when he KNOWS she's a worthless piece of lying, junkie-friend-having crap?
WHY does he still favor her when she is such a horrible person?

No, this is not "sisterly love", for anyone reading this that doesn't know me. There is sisters not getting along because they're sisters, and then there's sisters not getting along because the youngest sibling is a waste of air for doing such horrible things to the people that care for and about her.

When does this end? When can I leave? Why can't I leave now? WHY am I in this HORRIBLE situation that I can't move away from or get out of, and no one other than me sees that it needs to change? WHY do my parents just brush off her mistreatment of us like it's ok? It's NOT ok, get your asses out of denial.

I want to cry and sleep all day. But I can't. Because I have to go to work. And I don't want to. I just want to be far, far away from here.

I HATE this.

Wow. This was a slight disaster, wasn't it? My dad came into the kitchen today around 11am and just started making breakfast..... and I was supposed to have the kitchen to myself ALL day today. All day. And I couldn't delegate anything specific to anyone because everything took so long for everyone else to do... I didn't have any cheffy guests over today. So the "What can we do to help?" really just got in the way :-(

My bird was 165 and 168 in 3 places when I took him out, but then he rested for about a half hour and when we cut into him, he was still a bit pink. And apparently, when I left for Lorean's family's dinner, they put my bird back in the over - for another hour and a half. WHAT THE HELL? I'm mad. That was MY bird, and no one even called to ask how long I would recommend for him being in there. NOWHERE NEAR AN HOUR AND A HALF! He was done! He was just JUICY AS HELL because he was wrapped in bacon and had 2lbs of herbed butter all over him!!!

I can't believe they did that. It's like an insult. I'm pretty mad. I won't be eating anymore of that turkey. I even voiced my concern for people not liking the slight pink near the bones at dinner and offered to cook it longer then, so it wouldn't dry out after getting COLD and then being shoved back into the oven. My poor, poor neglected Big Bird. :-(

Because my dad took 2 hours in the kitchen to make breakfast...I was severely lacking space, time, and all of my stuff was in far too close to the "finish line" for my liking. I didn't get to make the brie - the ones I made yesterday exploded...little bastards. I barely got my cranberry sauce made, but it was a HUGE hit. I didn't think anyone would eat it, and there's NONE LEFT! I'm going to have to make more in order to have some for sandwiches!!

My individual pumpkin tarts took quite a bit of time, too. THEY were insanely popular - everyone loved them. So that was pleasing.... everyone also loved the apricot-orange glazed sweet potatoes that I baked, and the stuffing that I made. It had turkey sausage (specifically cranberry turkey sausage from Whole Foods - I'm so happy they opened here!!), apples, and pears in it, and was made with sourdough bread that I made homemade croutons with. Yum yum.

I guess it wasn't a total disaster, but it definitely was not smooth and stress free like it should and could have been. I had it all planned out. I made a schedule for when things needed to be done by (sounds anal, but really, it's a smart thing to do when cooking that many dishes in that small of a kitchen with that many people here), and my dad bursting into my business (it's funny to say it that way, but MY DAMN KITCHEN SPACE, BIOOTCH!) really threw me off. :-(

Lorean and I are also a little iffy right now. We've had a rough week, on top of the fact that he's had a rough week outside of just our relationship. He's been blowing me off for a few weeks and that finally came to a peak at the most inopportune time (when he blew me off, again, but only because our friend was dumped just before the holidays - yeah, I feel bad that I finally broke down about it ON THAT day..ugh.. it'd just been happening so often lately that I just couldn't take it anymore), then my sister ruined my prep-time plans yesterday, and therefore made me late/not ready to go somewhere with Lorean and the recently dumped friend. So out of frustration for everything going on here, the stress of cooking and cleaning and doing everything here, and then our issue the prior day, I just blew up at him. For no reason at all; he showed up, told me what time it was, and I blew up at hime. It was wrong and I shouldn't have done it. Even if some girls out there that're friends would justify it by saying he shouldn't have been blowing me off - that doesn't mean I can blow up at him for nothing at all. NOTHING. :-(

SO! Take that mess and add it to the mess of today's dinner, and let me just say: Unless I have a kitchen that is over double the space of my parents' kitchen, or if I have two days ahead of time without work and without people in my way to prep things out ON MY OWN,   I WILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN! ha!!

Oh well. It was fun cooking and planning out my menu until things started going wrong. I missed the feeling of planning things out like that.

This is specifically a public entry because my good ol' buddy Jon doesn't have a Vox anymore, and therefore needs it to be public to read it.

There ya go, Mr. Boss Man. No pictures yet - I'm going to finish my sparkling wine and hit the sack. I have to be up at 4:45.